Travel Review of Sorts

Just in case you ever consider a trip to Seoul, South Korea, I would like to offer my review after spending 5 busy days in this city.  For those of you geographically challenged, Seoul is the capital of South Korea.   Korea is a peninsula divided along the 38th parallel following the Korean War where in fact a peace treaty was never signed.  Hence the DMZ (Demilitarized zone).  If you have read or seen anything at all about the conditions or lack of in North Korea, you will be amazed even more at the South Korean economy and way of life.  The sheer amount of goods brought in and sold in this country is amazing, considering its proximity to North Korea.  BTW, another random fact is that North Korean leader, Kim Jon Il, is known to be born just outside Khabarovsk, Russia.  Click here for more info. There is a well known street named after this man.   Not sure that is something about which to boast...
In an effort to not bore those of you who are not planning a visit to Seoul, here are ten things I learned from our visit to Korea.
1)  Don't bring 4 young children to a bustling Asian city and expect to have a peaceful vacation.
2)  Do make sure you visit the Aquarium during the morning hours if for no other reason than to watch the parade of seemingly endless kindergarten classes in matching attire and backpacks.
3)  If you want to delight your young boys (and older ones), send them to the War Memorial of Korea for the day.  So much more than a memorial and will implant history in their minds for years to come! 
4)  The public bathrooms in Korea are surprisingly clean, even in the subways.  And we visited a great deal of them!
5)  It is helpful to know a few basic phrases when traveling to a foreign country like please and thank you and "Help! My child is lost!".  (You would think I would know this from living abroad!)
6)  If you are a young girl and not of Asian descent, expect to be asked to have your picture taken with strangers multiple times. 
7)  Mexican food in Korea is really good!
8)  Figuring out how to navigate the subway system is a feat in itself and somehow rewarding.
9)  Sight seeing with children in a foreign country is less about the sights and much more about the getting there.
10)  McDonalds in Korea tastes much better than in America. To all my health conscious friends, I didn't even feel bad about it!  They don't have fast food in Far East Russia. 

And though we only had our camera with us the last day, here are a few photos.

An outdoor market street

On top of the N. Seoul Tower, halfway around the world

"An ancient 14th century fortress guard"

Sardines, anyone?

Culture Shock

As defined by wikipedia.com, culture shock is "the difficulty people have in adjusting to a new culture that differs markedly from their own."  Despite my solid training in the matter with MTW, I somehow sub-consciously thought I would escape this moving our family to Russia because we survived our first year of married life in Ukraine, whose culture is in many ways very akin to Russian.  And in some ways, it did indeed soften the blow.  All the same, I can see now I was sorely mistaken.  Basically there are 4 stages of culture shock.  They can be termed differently, but wikipedia calls them: 1) Honeymoon phase, 2) Negotiation phase, 3) Adjustment phase, and 4) Mastery phase.  The first phase is pretty obvious.   The second often is characterized by anxiety, loneliness, disillusionment, and sometimes anger towards the host culture.  This phase might describe what I have of late been experiencing.   Example to follow.  It is extremely challenging living in this culture with 4 children and without grandparents or family member to help out.  Most all Russian Moms have a grandmother, an aunt, or a nanny to help them.  Typically they have 1 to 2 children, stay home with the child until he/she is 2 1/2 or 3 years old, and then go back to work.  Companies even give their female employees a full paid year of maternity leave and are required to hold their job for 2 or 3 years, I believe.  So, at Scott's company there are women on maternity leave with temporaries in their place who are on maternity leave filled by another temporary and so on.  Quite disruptive to business life, as you can imagine.  But I digress.  Once the child turns 3 years old, they almost without exception all go to some sort of government or private detski sad (a.k.a. kindergarten/daycare) 9-6, 5 days a week.  When the child turns 7 years old, he/she enters school in 1st grade.  They graduate after 11th grade.  School is very intensive, and academics might be called a golden calf in this culture.  Because of the challenges in daily life here, we thought it might help me if the younger 2 children could attend a detski sad a couple times a week for a few hours and to help them to learn Russian.  So, the ladies at work have graciously helped us search for one.  A week ago, I was taken to visit a private one.  A foreigner could never enter a government kindergarten unless they bribed the officials.  Russian children are put on the waiting list for them at birth.   Upon arrival to the detski sad, I was brought into a 2 room apartment, very neat and orderly, with one small bathroom and one small kitchen.  Thirteen children are cared for in this small apartment.  The lady was very nice with whom we met, and they seemed to have a very structured routine.  However, when I explained to the girl that I only wanted my children to go part-time, she looked at me very surprised.  "But why wouldn't you want them to go all day?"  I replied, "Why WOULD I want them to go all day?  They have never been away from me for long and don't even speak Russian."  Then when asked if my children would eat Russian food that was served, I told her that probably not much at first.  I explained that they were not yet accustomed to Russian food but could become so.  She proceeded to ask, "Well, what DO you eat then for dinner?" (as if to say that everyone eats like Russians)   Lunch is their biggest meal of the day.  Often it includes soup, salad, meat or fish, rice, barley or potatoes, bread, and tea.   The children are also required to sleep for 2 hours with only their underwear on. (I suppose in case they wet the bed.)   I was already forewarned that this might be a shock to them.   I came home from this encounter deciding definitely not to send my children there or to any other detski sad right now. 

The good news is that God graciously provided an American family to be friends with who has similarly aged children. She homeschools her children,  and we are both considering having a sort of "one-room schoolhouse" together this year with our children meeting in a local ministry center.   Plans have not become concrete yet, but we are both excited about what the Lord has in store for this.

If you think of us, please pray for this venture, and for our family to become healthily adjusted to Russian life.

What have we been up to?

Where have we been since our last post?  Busy, I suppose.  I guess that means we are settling in.   Since writing, we have had a lot of firsts here in Russia: first trip to the central market (if I can ever sneak a video of that place, I will show you why this is a first.), first time to the children's puppet theatre, first time to park our car in the "bomb shelter" car garage, first trip out of the city to see the Russian countryside, and first time to the local ER.  When C3 was sick, we called the "Skoro pomosh" - literally "Quick help" or something along those lines.  This time it was C8.  He fell in the playground running, and we thought he had broken several fingers.  Off to the ER I went along with one of Scott's co-workers.  I felt like I was in an old Soviet movie.  If you have ever seen one, you might envision it well.  The white coats, the drab hallways, etc.  If you are a nurse or doctor, you would be offended by the sight.   The positive side of the Russian ER is that it is 1) free and 2) fast.  We walked right into the administration office, registered, saw the doctor, received an x-ray(which we  were able to take home as a souvenir), and received a diagnosis within 30 or so minutes.  I was very grateful that the Lord protected C8's fingers from being broken, and that they did not try to extract money from as foreigners.  My friend that took us to the hospital said that her small son cut his finger while ice skating last year and had to stay in the hospital for 3 weeks!  That is no typo - for stitches!   Let me explain - this country does not even know what neosporin is.  You get the picture. 

The central market is a great homeschool field trip.  When you walk in to the meat market, there are men behind the counter with a huge ax cutting the meat in pieces for sale as if they were cutting firewood.  It sits out in room temperature air all day all neatly organized by animal part.  I won't go into further detail.  There is a cheese/kefir/smetana (like sour cream) section, a cookie & candy section, a Chinese section, a fish section, and an outdoor fruit & vegetable market along with a flower market, tool section, clothing section and any other kind of Chinese goods that you ever wanted.  There are babushkas walking around selling bags, knives, and some begging for money.  My husband's favorite part is the fresh honey section where to his delight they sell honeycomb.  Basically anything you want you can find at the central market. 

If you are wondering why I referred to our garage as a "bomb shelter", that is because it looks just like that.  It is underneath a school playground.  It is very dark, dirty and drab.  There is sweet pensioner that acts as the "security" for the place.  She keeps tabs on everyone and knows who everyone is.  It takes about 30 minutes for my husband to park the car at night.  Car theft around here is rampant.  We are grateful to have a car now, though I don't think I will be driving in this city anytime soon.  Think something like New York City without traffic rules.

Some pictures from trip to Yuzhno-Sakhalin, Russia

C3 after a few days of treatment

We are so grateful for the many prayers that were lifted up for C3 during the first few weeks of our time in Russia with his allergic reaction scare.  We felt the prayers and the peace of God in it all.  Thank you.

Before

In the waiting room

Kids with Mr. Clint & Mr. Nathan, who helped us tremendously while in Yuzhno-Sakhalin

Just for fun, can you guess what this is?

C8 hugging giraffe - just like his favorite "Gigi"

C4 enjoying himself at a local school park

a painting of Russian matryushka dolls at park

Kids with Miss Elena, our Korean Russian driver and helper while in Yuzhno

Getting Adjusted

It has been a while since my last post.  As we are adjusting to life here, the days rush forward.  While the US is having a heat wave, we are experiencing what the locals describe as a very unusual June.  There have been 2 days in June that I might describe as hot.  The high was probably in the high 70s.  The other days have been wet and rainy or cool,  but mostly very pleasant.  When I say "cool", think mild Southern Alabama winter day.  Last week it rained every day. I was beginning to think we weren't going to see the sun again, but it made an appearance today.  Along with the sun came the children playing in the playground.  For people who are accustomed to harsh winters, you might think that a little rain or damp weather wouldn't prevent them from playing outside.  Quite the opposite, the children all but disappeared last week while the rain and cool weather came through.  Yesterday we were wearing coats and hats.  Today the kids are back in shorts, t-shirts, and light jackets.  It really is quite a contrast from muggy, hot Alabama summers.   I fully realize we will pay a price for such pleasant weather when winter weather arrives in the Fall.

Since my last post, we have been slowly making friends.  Unfortunately, C8 had found a good friend in a little boy named Roma.  Then one day he & his Mom did not come out to play.  That was a week ago, but we think that he might have gone on vacation to their Dacha for the month of June.  Russians are very fond of their "dachas" or summer houses.  This is where they grow their vegetables and escape from city life when the harshness of winter has past.  The kids spent yesterday with an American missionary family with 4 small children.  They had a blast!  Their Mom & I enjoyed a long English conversation.  We even share the same anniversary day & year!  Today at the park I met a Russian lady named Victoria who has 4 children.  This is very rare here in Russia.  Not only does she have 4 children, but she was trained as an English teacher in their university system.  Her English is out of practice but very good.  She lives in our courtyard, although for some reason it was the first time I have seen her.   I met another woman named Marina today with a precious 10 month old boy.  Her Russian is very understandable, and she told me about a Russian friend of hers who lived in Alabama several years ago.  So she knew exactly where Alabama was! 

Russians are culturally wary of foreigners.  I suspect this might particularly be true in parts of Russia where there are few foreigners.  The good thing about being a European American is that we blend in with the people around us walking down the street.   I say this because not everyone is friendly once they know you are not a native Russian speaker (which doesn't take long in our case!). 

If you think of us, pray that the kids & I will both be able to make significant friendships here in our neighborhood.

Daily life in America is pretty easy.  You walk out your door, get in your car, and off you go.  Unless you live way out, you can find everything you need within a short drive, your choice of fast food restaurants, drugstores, etc.  Life in Russia just isn't so easy.   Yesterday I was talking with a Russian lady that I hope to develop a friendship with.   She has 2 young children, ages 2 & 4.   I told her that right now it is just difficult adjusting with 4 young children, finding groceries, getting around, etc.  But that God is good.  I told maybe with fewer children it is a little easier.  Her reply was, "No. It still isn't easy." And we are blessed that we can buy the groceries we need and have a nice apartment.  Many people only make around $500 a month salary.  Groceries cost as much as in America.  Clothes & toys cost more.  Of course, I haven't tapped into the local markets and don't have my own dacha to grow my own vegetables.  I realize that most Russians probably live a bit differently.

A few observations:  Cars are everywhere.  They are becoming more and more of the norm here for a middle class family.  You will still find as many or more people walking the streets with packages in hand or riding in an overcrowded bus or trolley bus to get to their destination.  Crossing the street is an exercise in faith by itself.  Although the country prides itself on its love of children and preference towards them, they don't pay much attention to little ones crossing the street.   The most friendly people we have met here were actually some Chinese businessmen who helped me cross the street one day when the crosslights were broken.   A  babushka (grandmother) here will scold the Mom or child who is doing wrong, but if the child is crying, that same babushka will pull out a piece of candy and give it to the child.  It doesn't matter the reason for crying.  So far, my youngest 2 have both received candy as a "reward" to their ill behavior.  I told them not to count on it from me.  

The kids are adjusting better than I expected to apartment & city life.  They are for the most part content playing in the apartment and enjoy playing in the "park" or courtyard playground each day.  It is quite a change from living in a neighborhood with few to no children to having a daily group of playmates to meet in their neighborhood play area.  Last night there must have been 20+ kids outside playing chase and many running around with swords and toy guns.    They all know we are the English speaking family.  Some of them will ask if the kids are speaking English.   Many of them know how to say "hello", but usually not much more.  I am very thankful to be able to speak and read Russian, even though I have much to learn.  I hope that before we leave Russia, the children will be translating for me rather than the other way around.

Walmart is in Russia!

Well, not exactly.  It is almost as good.  I was shocked yesterday when we walked inside this non-descript building looking for a blender to find out that not only does a Western-style mall exist here, but also a store that I will call "Wal-mart".  It has everything in one place with the exception of the furniture and electronics departments probably at a typical Wal-mart.  This is quite unusual in Russia to find a store where you can do one-stop shopping.   It was dubbed as a "liquidation" store, but inside it looked similar to a Wal-mart.  I even found zip-loc baggies and something akin to Windex.  Both of which I was looking for. It is the little things that give encouragement living overseas.