Winter Sports

One of the fun things about living in a colder climate is all the winter sports that accompany the weather.  In Alabama, kids play basketball in the winter.  Here you will see kids of all ages walking around with hockey sticks, snowboards, and sleds ready to enjoy all that winter has to offer.  Originally I had thought that the cold temps would make it hard for our family to adjust.  On the contrary, the cold weather has actually been a plus for us in light of the other difficulties Russian city life brings to an American family.  Admittedly, they can’t spend as much time outdoors as they are used to in Alabama, and it takes us a good 30 minutes to get ready to go outside.  However, once they are outside, they really enjoy it!  Here are a few pics of our latest adventures in the snow & cold.

Ice-slide in our courtyard

This actually a handicap ramp, but turned into a winter slide.

Boys making a makeshift hockey practice on an ice block

Sledding on inner tubes

C6 having fun in our courtyard

C5 and his friend practicing hockey

We have had a sort of debate going on concerning what constitutes the beginning of winter here.  Some people say Nov. 1 here.  Others say Dec. 1.  My husband says Dec. 21 at the winter solstice, and others say "When you can go outside without a hat on and not freeze, it is not yet winter.".   Well, whatever the correct answer is, it is cold here. The temperatures are consistently 10-15 below in Celcius, which translates to roughly 10 and below in Farenheit.  When dressed properly, however, it is a kind of winter wonderland.  Our Alabama barefoot loving children have remarkably adjusted to the cold, and so far seem to endure it longer than their parents or most Russian kids for that matter. 

Snow and ice cover the roads and walkways.  Men are always out shoveling the sidewalks to prevent the snow from packing down and turning into an ice-skating rink.   Instead of strollers, you will see mothers pushing or pulling their babies on sleds.  Children have these plastic shovel-looking things that they carry around and can sit down on whenever there is a hill for sledding.  

This past week has been busy.  The kids & I have been sledding on inner tubes and sleds.  We visited an Orthodox church and were allowed to view a "miraculous icon" of Mary and Jesus.  Interestingly enough they say it continuously flows myrhh.  My Russian orthodox friend, who invited us, picked up 2 of the children and told them to kiss the icon.  This is what the Russian Orthodox do to icons. Complying and not realizing what they were doing, they did.  I have to say that is something I have never done.  Also, C9 began playing soccer and went to a Russian school for the first time.  Here are a few pics:

Going to School with Daddy

A view from inside; in back an Orthodox monastery

"Otkritie" Elementary school

First Real Snow

 

View from our balcony

Boys trying out their new sleds

Our Littlest Knight

These were too funny to pass up, so just for fun here is our littlest knight of the Three Musketeers (& 1 princess of course).

A day in our life...

This morning we didn't wake up until 8 because the sun didn't begin to rise until then, and my alarm clock (i.e. Hubby) isn't here to wake me up. His week long absence has proved exhausting, for me at least. The kids weren't all up until 8:30, and since detski sad begins at 8:30, we were of course already late. I fed them a quick breakfast, helped them dress in their layers of Fall clothing (which consists of tights, pants, turtleneck, sweater, coat, hat, mittens, scarf, and warm boots), and left the apartment. We looked for a taxi because at this point it was already 9:15, but were unsuccessful. So, we walked 2 blocks to a bus stop, got on the bus, rode several stops, got off and then walked 10 minutes to the kindergarten. By the time we arrived it was already 10 oclock. I then took a bus home, waited for C9 to finish his Russian lesson, and then went out again on a mission to find wool tights and wool mittens. Apparently, it is supposed to get "cold" next week. And have you seen wool mittens and stockings for sale in Alabama? So, after several shops, two bus rides, one trolleybus ride, and lots of walking, C9 and I had a bag of wool stockings and several pairs of wool mittens and were on our way to pick up the other kids from detski sad. Needless to say, after getting them all home again, I was fairly tired. Our Russian friends had earlier invited us to the woods for a picnic because of the nice weather, which translates into above freezing. So we spent the later part of the day playing along the beach of the Amur River, walking through the woods, and roasting hot dogs. By the way, they want to know why Americans call them hot dogs. Beats me; to be honest, I have never thought about it. One thing I do want to know though is whether Russians are deprived because they don't know what a s'more or marshmallow is? If I can find marshmallows here and make my own graham crackers, I will have to introduce the idea. That along with a few other things including syrup and chips and salsa. I don't know about you, but just writing this blog entry makes me ready for bed. So until next time, "Da Sveedanya".

a Russian trolley bus

the kids with friends along Amur River

Fall campfire

Life gets busier

We have only been back in Russia since mid-October, and yet it seems like a lot longer.  So much has happened in these first couple weeks back than when we first arrived back in May.  We are pleased that things are beginning to come together, and we are feeling more settled.  The younger 3 children started "Detski Sad" or Russian kindergarten the week after we came back.  They are enrolled in a Montessori kindergarten and go every weekday through lunch.   Typically, Russian children go to Detski sad from the age of 3 until they turn 7, and most attend the entire day.  This was a compromise for me as I really wanted them to learn Russian but did not like the idea of having my children gone all day while I stayed at home.  My husband and acquaintances here all encouraged me to let them try it.  So far it has been a good experience although they don't always want to get up and go.  I can see that they have learned already some more Russian than they would have, especially C6.   They feed the children breakfast and lunch which is very typical of a kindergarten.  When they are picked up, they want a second lunch as the food portions are very meager.  Russian children typically go to 1st grade at the age of 7, and at that time they already know how to read and write.  So, their 1st grade is more akin to an American 2nd grade class.  They also go to school half days at least at the elementary level.  In the afternoons, the children have a choice of afternoon activities (which they pay for) at the school, or elsewhere or they go home.    We are looking into a school right now for our eldest mainly for the purposes of language acquisition.  He will still need to come home in the afternoons and have lessons in the subjects that he would not receive at a Russian school.   The schools are on a 1 week break now, and the director of the school is on vacation.  So, we will not know for sure until next month if they will even take him.

This month have also spent a lot of time with one particular Russian family with whom we have become acquainted.  They are a sweet family, sincere Orthodox Christians, with 3 small children (5 & under) and one teenage daughter.  With our American friends, we were able to visit a children's orphanage where school age children live.   I am hopeful that we will be able to begin a relationship with this or another orphanage and make regular visits.  The directors are not always eager to have Western visitors. A lot of this has to do with the fact that they are afraid we might be prosletyzing.  I am not sure about the rest of Russia, but the Far East is skeptical of non-Orthodox groups and often frowns upon them.  Again, this is an area about which I am learning.   God gave me an idea about talking to one of the orphanage directors about a knitting class for some of the girls.   How fun would it be to pass along my newly learned knitting skill to some Russian orphans to whom this would be a very useful craft.    I'll let you know if this leads anywhere.

Hubby is presently in St. Petersburg, which if you look on the map is on the opposite side of the country in European Russia.  He told me I wasn't allowed to go visit because I might never go back.  Apparently it is a very beautiful city.    With him being gone a week, I am appreciative of all he does to help us here.    Like the fact that I have no water right now because the water delivery service didn't come last night, and so I will have to hike to the store for water tonight.  Or that he drives the kids to Detski sad and picks them, so I am having to take a bus and walk with them to kindergarten there and back each day.   Of course, this is how most Russian people live.  Just today I was watching all the babushkas walking down the street amidst pot-hole sidewalks waiting for buses, hauling food and supplies with their cold-weather gear on.  I sat behind an older woman in the bus with crooked fingers and what looked like arthritis.  Another elderly lady was running to the bus only to find the doors close before she was able to get on.  There were several young mothers carrying their babies wrapped up on snow suits like a bundle through the streets.  It is not an easy life - the freezing climate nor the lifestyle.  But these people are survivors.  If they all knew how we middle-class Americans lived, they would probably think we were all wimps.    I don't hear them complaining though; it is just their life. 

Around the World (or Halfway) in 2 Days

For those of you wondering how long it really does take to get to the other side of the world, it takes about 40 hours including planes and layovers.  On the way back to Russia, we went through Asia as opposed to Europe. It really doesn't matter which way you do it.  It is STILL on the other side of the globe.  4 plane trips, including one 15 hour long one, one overnight in South Korea, one stopover in Japan, and 6 tired people later, we arrived back in Khabarovsk.  Here are a few photos documenting our journey.

In the Tokyo airport

Happy in Seoul, S. Korea

Waiting, waiting,waiting...

Jack Frost arrived!

I think today was the beginning of the Russian winter.  You would have thought it was Christmas morning around here.  The kids went to the window and looked outside.  Immediately, I heard screaming (the good kind) and "Mommy, It's snowing!"  I expected to see white stuff falling from the sky.  Instead I look out and there is a light, spotty dusting of the ground.  That didn't matter to the kids.  You have to love their enthusiasm. They were ready to gear up and make snowballs.  It was still dark at this point, as the sun doesn't rise until 8 AM.  They were half dressed for the snow within 5 minutes.   So, we all went outside and played in the playground and took pictures of their "first" dusting in Russia.  They don't know it but they are probably going to be sick of snow by the time winter is over.  It was only in the 20s, but it felt COLD.  I am positive that we were the most excited family in all of Khabarovsk this morning.  To all of our Southern Alabama friends, here are some photos of our morning. 

My husband likens coming back to Alabama from Russia to walking through the wardrobe at Narnia.  After spending 4 months in Far East Russia, I tend to agree with him.  It is a completely different world.  People are people, of course.  But there is really little reference point to describe the differences particularly if you have never been to Russia or a former Soviet country.  I am sure the opposite is true as well for a Russian coming to the suburban United States.  May I say it is just so "other".    People ask me, "So, how is Russia?"  My response should be, "Do you really want to know or are you just asking to be polite?"  Please don't be offended.  I know that Southerners mean well, but culturally we ask things not always wanting a response.  Take the classic, "Hey!  How are you?", for example.  Are we always genuinely interested in the other person's problems, stresses, and frustrations?  Sometimes, but not always.  In Russia, I rarely ask someone "Kak dela?" (How are you?) unless I really want to hear.  On the positive side, Southerners are much more friendly to strangers.  Just the other day I had a lengthy conversation with the checkout lady at Brunos about gardens, school, her career goals, and healthy eating.  Never once has the checkout lady in Russia had anything more to say than, "Hello", "How many bags?", and "Thank you for your purchase."   We spent almost 5 days when we first arrived in the States seeing only family.  After recovering from jet lag, we began to make "dates" to visit with friends.  In Russia, my kids would have been home only 24 hours and already seen all their playmates.  This is because we live in an apartment where the kids "backyard" is a communal courtyard or playground where Moms meet twice a day with their kids to play.   No playdates have to be scheduled, at least when the weather is decent.  When the kids pick up some more Russian, it will be a lot easier for them to make friends there.   It is also generally much safer than in a comparable American city.  Although it is a big city, there are things kids can do in Russia independently that they couldn't do here.  Kids walk to school and take city buses by themselves from as young as 9 or 10.  They can walk a block to the store and get a loaf of bread or a carton of milk for Mom.  And if they get into trouble or are doing something mischevious, the babushkas will most certainly say something to them.  

Yes, there are a lot of problems facing Russia as a society and country.  Alcoholism, drug abuse, and corruption rank up there in the top 10.  Walking down a typical street, in addition to the regular citizen, I can see drunks, orphans, and/or a homeless person taking refuge under a building.  There are potholes in the street, broken bottles lying everywhere, and stray dogs.   There are young Moms strolling babies, schoolchildren walking to school, babushkas walking their grandchild, older ladies selling produce from their dachas, and sometimes beggars begging for money.   I sometimes see tired workers on the side of the street, many of whom look like they are from North Korea.  The faces are numerous.

Funny that I spent the first few months struggling to figure out how to cook in Russia.  Just when I was getting used to cooking there,  I come home and guess what?  First time I went to the grocery store, I couldn't find the things I wanted.  I don't mean couldn't locate; I meant they weren't there because they aren't typically sold in American grocery stores.  In addition to the usual cabbage, potatoes, beets and carrots that are commonly thought of as "Russian", they eat a lot of fresh herbs, pork, fish, vegetables, and traditional soups.  And no Russian grocery store is without plenty of "Pelmeni".  Pelmeni is a staple food that is basically a ravioli-like dough filled with cheese, meat, potatoes, or cabbage.   Maybe I can post a few recipes in a future blog entry. 

Even though Russia and Alabama are so very different, there are positives to both "lives", and I am grateful we can take the best of  both and enjoy them for what they are.    

Lessons upon returning "home"

We arrived home for a month visit on Tuesday night around midnight.  The flight home was long, but much better than the flight over.  The kids knew what to expect, and the routine was familiar.  The airplane, security, passport control, checking in luggage, etc.  There was much less crying on this flight than the first time.  4 flights totaling 21 hours plus an overnight in Moscow and 6 hours of layovers made for a long trip.  Praise the Lord everything went smoothly, and we came home healthy.  I always think of all the germs and viruses that are in the stale airplane air and all around the crowded airports. 

It is really nice to be "home".  The kids were more excited than Christmas and stayed up the first night until 3 AM playing with all their stuff.  Of course they were on Khabarovsk time still, as the next night they went to sleep at 9, only to wake up at 1:30 and stay awake playing until 5 AM.  5 AM translates into 9 PM Khabarovsk time which is bedtime.  The third night was much better, and they all slept mostly through the night with the help of a late night movie and a little melatonin in an applesauce snack.   C6's comment was "It is SO nice to be home!".  C9 said yesterday, "I forgot that we weren't in Russia!"  Later when asked about returning, he said "I don't want to go back."  I replied that he would miss his friend Riles if he didn't go back.  His reply was, "I do want to go back.  Just not now."  Glad they are content in the present. 

The thing about coming back is that we all appreciate our home and the blessings here so much more.  It is of course human nature to take for granted what one has.  The kids appreciate their home and yard and toys and of course grandparents.  They are truly savoring every moment.  It is easier for me to have a lighter hold on the material things of this world as well.   I can enjoy the material blessings for what they are, but I realize that they are only fleeting.  Not only in the sense that we are going back to Russia soon but that everything God gives us He can give and take away.  And that none of it we will take with us.  This life is temporary.    Don't think that we are suffering in Russia.  We have many material comforts there.  We have a nice apartment, a car, a water heater, a nice courtyard playground, money to buy food, etc.   But compared to life in America, it is not easy.  Life just isn't easy there for anyone.  If you want to see what I mean, come visit us, and I will show you around. 

What I am learning and maybe many of you have already learned is that God doesn't intend for life to be easy.  As Americans, we tend to think life should be easy.  Think about your own life. Isn't that true?  We like our comforts and everything is set up to be convenient.  Not that these are necessarily bad things.  But when we begin to believe that God intends for us to have an easy life and question why things aren't so, there begins to lie a problem.   It can even become an idol.  Parenting isn't easy.  Having 4 lively and strong-willed children isn't easy.  Homeschooling isn't easy.  Living in a different culture isn't easy.  Marriage isn't always easy.  Walking with Christ isn't easy.  These are messy things.  Most of our ancestors understood this and accepted this.  They didn't walk away from life when things got hard.  Culturally, people didn't walk away from marriages or friendships when things got hard.  They didn't move when things got hard. They stuck it out and persevered, or we wouldn't be here today.  Have you ever read any missionary biographies?  Much of the Christian population would be unevangelized if this were the case.  How I respond to the "uneasiness" is where it gets real.  How do I live a life of joy and contentment and peace even when it gets messy and hard?  This is the daily walk of a believer.  Trusting in Him not when it is easy, but when life gets hard. 

Fall in the Air

In America, it is Labor Day and summer weather is still upon you.  Here it is the beginning of Fall.  The past 2 days have been nothing but windy and rainy with cooler temps.  The Russians say there will be a "Baba Leta", like our Indian summer.  One of Scott's fellow coworkers says that this is the season for Russians to be depressed as they think about the winter encroaching.  He also called it "Jarring season" as all the Russians busily take the harvest from their summer dacha and can their vegetables so they will have food for winter.  It is in many ways a very agrarian society still.  Even though many or most people live in the cities now, they still depend heavily on their dachas to provide their produce.  It is hard to find good fresh produce in the supermarkets here.   Even at the market, I hear ladies telling the sellers that they don't need the parsley, carrots, cucumbers, whatever, because they have enough at their dacha.  We have been fortunate in that several folks have shared their abundance with us.  Also there is a man who has been coming weekly to Scott's office to bring fresh produce from his dacha for sale.  I have never seen such large zucchini and squash before coming here.  Scott says it is because of the long sunlight hours during the short summers. 

All the zucchini are this large. 

C3 lining up all the tomatoes.

 September 1, also known as the Day of Knowledge, in Russia is a large celebration for all Russian schoolchildren as it is the first day of school.  1st grade or 1st class as they call it here begins at age 7.  Students graduate after the 11th class and either go to work, the army, trade school, or university. In addition to the usual school supply frenzy and new clothes shopping that accompanies this season in America, the Russian kids take this up to the next level in dressing up in suits for boys and fancy shirts and skirts for girls sometimes with large white bows.  They are expected to bring flowers to their teacher.  The first day of school is a big photographic opportunity for parents along with balloon releases, speeches, and general celebrations.  We were planning to walk across the street to view the festivities but because of the rain we watched from our window.  Our American friends, who are missionaries here, allowed me to post a couple of their kids' first day of school pictures so you could see what it looks like.

Kids say the cutest things...

Scene: C4 is walking down the hall with his two blankies over his head headed to naptime.Me: "Are you going to take your pillow and blankie to college?
C4:  "Where do you live in college?"
Me: "In a dorm room with another boy your same age."
C4: "Then I'm not going to college."
Me: Puzzled, "Why not?"
C4: "Because I don't want to live with someone that is not in my family."

Musings of little ones

C4 to T3 today while swinging and watching an airplane fly overhead:  "I wonder where that airplane is flying."  We discussed all the places it might be going to Thailand, Japan, America, Moscow, or Korea.  Then T3 pipes in, "I want to go on airplane to Russia (pronounced "Ru-a")."  C4: "We already are in Russia."  T3: "Oh."   And that was the end of the conversation.   It was quite funny.

Happy Birthday Boys!

Can't believe that my two older boys are now 9 & 5 years old!  C9 was excited to hear that he only had 9 more years until he could join the military.  Scary thought!  Besides being a fireman, he wants to join the military.  Both have been pretty constant now for some time.  C5 is a very strong little boy.  His latest interest is wanting to be a boxer.  When I told him that he would have a lot of black eyes if he was a boxer, he decided that wasn't such a good idea.  They are all boys.  C9 is energetic, creative, loud, an inventor, and has an engineer's mind.  C5 is, very strong, inquisitive, and athletic; for those of you who know him, he still loves his thumb and pillow. Parenting these two (and the others) is far from easy, but we are so thankful the Lord brought them to us.  As Scott asked me today, "What would you do without us?"   My reply, "Sit on the beach with a good book and listen to the waves splash?" 

Apartment Life

I am fast asleep.  In my "dream", I hear the sound of someone talking loudly in Russian in my apartment.  Wait!  It isn't a dream.  It really is someone talking.  Could the window be open?  Perhaps it is someone outside on the sidewalk.   No.  It must be inside, but it can't be.  I lean over to the bedside shelf and reach for the watch.  It's 2:30 in the morning.  Where is my husband?  And who is in our apartment talking at this time of night?  I get up, wrap my blanket around me and walk down the hall.  It really IS someone in our apartment.  I hear (in Russian):  "Tomorrow I am coming to remove the toilet."  .... Finally, the lady & repairman leave. 

What happened?  Apparently, there was loud knocking on our door which woke my light-sleeping husband.  The neighbors below had a leak on their ceiling below our bathroom.  Apparently, we have a leaky toilet.  She called our landlord and threatened to take him to court.  How sad!    And at 2:30 in the morning - what terrible news to receive!

Stuck...

I think my big kids' biggest fear here in Russia is getting stuck in the "lift"  or elevator.  I have tried to encourage them to go in the elevator by themselves for independence sake.  For example, if someone comes to our apartment to bring us something, we all have to go down the elevator to meet them.  It would be much easier if my older ones would go down themselves and meet our visitor.  However, after today's experience, their fears are warranted.   God does indeed work all things together for our good.  In this case, the fact that C4 was being mean to C3 was a good thing because it caused my husband to wait on a separate elevator with C4 while the rest of us went ahead.  We live on the 7th floor of a 16 story building.  The elevator is a little smaller than 3' x 6'.    It is small elevator compared to US standards but surprisingly larger than many Russian elevators.  It is also a very dirty place.   A few seconds up the elevator, we could hear the sound of the elevator chains grinding to a halt.  My children's fear had come true.  We were stuck.  Fortunately, my husband was not far behind me.  I forgot my personal rule of not yelling out in English and yelled to him, "Help! We're stuck!"   I began pressing the 3 buttons on the elevator that were not numbers..nothing happened.  My youngest remained calm the entire time.  My daughter began to whimper and was about to cry.   We prayed and I assured them that God would watch over them even when the elevator stops.   Since my cell phone does not work in elevators, I knew that we could do nothing but wait.  My husband called the elevator dispatcher who began to talk to us from her phone to the elevator in Russian, "Machina poexala" The car has left, she was saying.   I tried to ask her how long, but she hung up.   I decided that in order to keep my daughter calm, we should start singing.  But this idea did not go over at all with my oldest who began to get very agitated and hostile towards me.   We waited some more.  Thankfully we had also just gotten back from church, so we had our Bibles with us.  So I began to read the Psalms and from Isaiah "Do not fear..."  This seemed to calm my daughter, when lo and behold the elevator began to go down again.  A few minutes later the door opened, and we were back on the 1st floor where we started.   It was only 10-15 minutes, but it seemed like a lot longer.  After that episode, the kids were too scared to get in the other elevator, so we walked.  And by the way, the stairway has no lights. 
I told the kids that now they would have something to write to their friends.  C4 replied, "I am going to write JB and tell him that I got to go to the roof with Daddy."  I am thinking that he is making this up, but I didn't say anything.   Remember the building is 16 stories high.  Afterwards, hubby tells me that yes, they did get to go to the roof because that is where the elevator repairman had to go to crank up the elevator again.  And he got to look over the edge of our 16 story building.  Sure glad I wasn't there to watch! 

Cultural Rules in Russia

1. Do take your shoes off inside someone's house.
2. Don't smile on the street.
3. Don't be friendly to a customer in a store, restaurant, post office, etc.
4. Do tell children to be quiet in public (if you are a stranger to them).
5. Do yell at said children in buses and on streets for doing things they aren't supposed to be doing (and aren't even aware they aren't supposed to be doing them).
6. Do allow your children to go to the bathroom wherever they please as long is it outside.
7. Don't open the windows even if it is 90 degrees outside. The breeze might make children sick.
8. Don't drink while you are eating.  Only drink before you eat.  It is bad for your health.
9. Do allow children to run around outside in just their underwear at preschool in the summer heat, including girls.
10. Do not smile when getting your picture made.

Just a few from my own observations to share :)

Another cross-cultural experience

Did I mention in my last post that the Korean people are friendly? It wasn't just in the hotel but everywhere on the streets. They always smiled, acknowledged the children, even wanted to take pictures with our daughter. If Korea is super-friendly, Russia is the antithesis. No one smiles at us (unless they know us). Hardly anyone greets us on the street except in a situation that follows. Instead of cute looks at the children, we get stares and then without fail the question comes. "Are these ALL yours?" "U vas detski sad!" (You have a kindergarten!) Yesterday I was with the kids eating an ice cream on the street. This lady approached me and asked me from where we came. She then proceeded to look at each of the children and ask "Are they all yours?" Then more looks. Then "You have four?!" Then she walked away talking to her friend.

Today we all went to the Wal-mart size grocery store to stock up on food supplies for the week. Hubby was waiting outside with 3 of the kids, and I was in line with C4. First, I should say that Russia is mainly a cash society. We have used cash almost exclusively since arriving until last week. Hubby was given an ATM card last week and has just begun using it. I do not have one, and have never used his. Since I did not have enough cash, he gave me the card and quickly told me the pin. Of course, by the time I got to the checkout, the pin had slipped my mind. So when I handed the lady the card, she handed me the pin code pad and asked me to plug the pin in. I replied that it was my husband's card, and I forgot the code. Couldn't I just sign it? (like you can do in the States - either use it like a credit card or ATM card) She replied that no, I had to sign it. I then told her again that I forgot the pin and needed to find my husband who was outside. I told her I would quickly go find him. She replied why can't you just call him? To which I replied that I do not have a phone with me. At this point the checkout lady and the lady behind me became very impatient and rude with me. They were both yelling at me in Russian and told me to hurry up. There was absolutely no grace extended to me whatsoever. The lady behind the checkout acted like she was there for me to serve her own needs. Customer service? A novel concept. What was I to do? I ran off to find hubby and did not return. I took 2 of the children and ran off in tears. At this point I was visibly upset and in front of the children as well. The children were wondering why Mommy was crying, and there was nothing I could do. It is really a helpless feeling. I was immediately reminded of the foreigners in our own country and how we treat them. Do they receive similar treatment, especially those that don't speak English well who don't know all the customs and cultural rules? It was a good opportunity to remind the children of how we should treat foreigners in America. I sincerely hope that this lesson will not be forgotten by me for one. It is really a horrible feeling. And unfortunately in Russia it has been one of several times when I have been treated this way. Americans are not perfect of course. But I do think, that at least in the South, generally we are more hospitable to outsiders. I know it was the case in South Korea.

"Do not oppress a foreigner; you yourselves know how it feels to be a foreigner, because you were foreigners in Egypt." Exodus 23:8-10

"The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God." Leviticus 19:33-35

Travel Review of Sorts

Just in case you ever consider a trip to Seoul, South Korea, I would like to offer my review after spending 5 busy days in this city.  For those of you geographically challenged, Seoul is the capital of South Korea.   Korea is a peninsula divided along the 38th parallel following the Korean War where in fact a peace treaty was never signed.  Hence the DMZ (Demilitarized zone).  If you have read or seen anything at all about the conditions or lack of in North Korea, you will be amazed even more at the South Korean economy and way of life.  The sheer amount of goods brought in and sold in this country is amazing, considering its proximity to North Korea.  BTW, another random fact is that North Korean leader, Kim Jon Il, is known to be born just outside Khabarovsk, Russia.  Click here for more info. There is a well known street named after this man.   Not sure that is something about which to boast...
In an effort to not bore those of you who are not planning a visit to Seoul, here are ten things I learned from our visit to Korea.
1)  Don't bring 4 young children to a bustling Asian city and expect to have a peaceful vacation.
2)  Do make sure you visit the Aquarium during the morning hours if for no other reason than to watch the parade of seemingly endless kindergarten classes in matching attire and backpacks.
3)  If you want to delight your young boys (and older ones), send them to the War Memorial of Korea for the day.  So much more than a memorial and will implant history in their minds for years to come! 
4)  The public bathrooms in Korea are surprisingly clean, even in the subways.  And we visited a great deal of them!
5)  It is helpful to know a few basic phrases when traveling to a foreign country like please and thank you and "Help! My child is lost!".  (You would think I would know this from living abroad!)
6)  If you are a young girl and not of Asian descent, expect to be asked to have your picture taken with strangers multiple times. 
7)  Mexican food in Korea is really good!
8)  Figuring out how to navigate the subway system is a feat in itself and somehow rewarding.
9)  Sight seeing with children in a foreign country is less about the sights and much more about the getting there.
10)  McDonalds in Korea tastes much better than in America. To all my health conscious friends, I didn't even feel bad about it!  They don't have fast food in Far East Russia. 

And though we only had our camera with us the last day, here are a few photos.

An outdoor market street

On top of the N. Seoul Tower, halfway around the world

"An ancient 14th century fortress guard"

Sardines, anyone?

Culture Shock

As defined by wikipedia.com, culture shock is "the difficulty people have in adjusting to a new culture that differs markedly from their own."  Despite my solid training in the matter with MTW, I somehow sub-consciously thought I would escape this moving our family to Russia because we survived our first year of married life in Ukraine, whose culture is in many ways very akin to Russian.  And in some ways, it did indeed soften the blow.  All the same, I can see now I was sorely mistaken.  Basically there are 4 stages of culture shock.  They can be termed differently, but wikipedia calls them: 1) Honeymoon phase, 2) Negotiation phase, 3) Adjustment phase, and 4) Mastery phase.  The first phase is pretty obvious.   The second often is characterized by anxiety, loneliness, disillusionment, and sometimes anger towards the host culture.  This phase might describe what I have of late been experiencing.   Example to follow.  It is extremely challenging living in this culture with 4 children and without grandparents or family member to help out.  Most all Russian Moms have a grandmother, an aunt, or a nanny to help them.  Typically they have 1 to 2 children, stay home with the child until he/she is 2 1/2 or 3 years old, and then go back to work.  Companies even give their female employees a full paid year of maternity leave and are required to hold their job for 2 or 3 years, I believe.  So, at Scott's company there are women on maternity leave with temporaries in their place who are on maternity leave filled by another temporary and so on.  Quite disruptive to business life, as you can imagine.  But I digress.  Once the child turns 3 years old, they almost without exception all go to some sort of government or private detski sad (a.k.a. kindergarten/daycare) 9-6, 5 days a week.  When the child turns 7 years old, he/she enters school in 1st grade.  They graduate after 11th grade.  School is very intensive, and academics might be called a golden calf in this culture.  Because of the challenges in daily life here, we thought it might help me if the younger 2 children could attend a detski sad a couple times a week for a few hours and to help them to learn Russian.  So, the ladies at work have graciously helped us search for one.  A week ago, I was taken to visit a private one.  A foreigner could never enter a government kindergarten unless they bribed the officials.  Russian children are put on the waiting list for them at birth.   Upon arrival to the detski sad, I was brought into a 2 room apartment, very neat and orderly, with one small bathroom and one small kitchen.  Thirteen children are cared for in this small apartment.  The lady was very nice with whom we met, and they seemed to have a very structured routine.  However, when I explained to the girl that I only wanted my children to go part-time, she looked at me very surprised.  "But why wouldn't you want them to go all day?"  I replied, "Why WOULD I want them to go all day?  They have never been away from me for long and don't even speak Russian."  Then when asked if my children would eat Russian food that was served, I told her that probably not much at first.  I explained that they were not yet accustomed to Russian food but could become so.  She proceeded to ask, "Well, what DO you eat then for dinner?" (as if to say that everyone eats like Russians)   Lunch is their biggest meal of the day.  Often it includes soup, salad, meat or fish, rice, barley or potatoes, bread, and tea.   The children are also required to sleep for 2 hours with only their underwear on. (I suppose in case they wet the bed.)   I was already forewarned that this might be a shock to them.   I came home from this encounter deciding definitely not to send my children there or to any other detski sad right now. 

The good news is that God graciously provided an American family to be friends with who has similarly aged children. She homeschools her children,  and we are both considering having a sort of "one-room schoolhouse" together this year with our children meeting in a local ministry center.   Plans have not become concrete yet, but we are both excited about what the Lord has in store for this.

If you think of us, please pray for this venture, and for our family to become healthily adjusted to Russian life.

What have we been up to?

Where have we been since our last post?  Busy, I suppose.  I guess that means we are settling in.   Since writing, we have had a lot of firsts here in Russia: first trip to the central market (if I can ever sneak a video of that place, I will show you why this is a first.), first time to the children's puppet theatre, first time to park our car in the "bomb shelter" car garage, first trip out of the city to see the Russian countryside, and first time to the local ER.  When C3 was sick, we called the "Skoro pomosh" - literally "Quick help" or something along those lines.  This time it was C8.  He fell in the playground running, and we thought he had broken several fingers.  Off to the ER I went along with one of Scott's co-workers.  I felt like I was in an old Soviet movie.  If you have ever seen one, you might envision it well.  The white coats, the drab hallways, etc.  If you are a nurse or doctor, you would be offended by the sight.   The positive side of the Russian ER is that it is 1) free and 2) fast.  We walked right into the administration office, registered, saw the doctor, received an x-ray(which we  were able to take home as a souvenir), and received a diagnosis within 30 or so minutes.  I was very grateful that the Lord protected C8's fingers from being broken, and that they did not try to extract money from as foreigners.  My friend that took us to the hospital said that her small son cut his finger while ice skating last year and had to stay in the hospital for 3 weeks!  That is no typo - for stitches!   Let me explain - this country does not even know what neosporin is.  You get the picture. 

The central market is a great homeschool field trip.  When you walk in to the meat market, there are men behind the counter with a huge ax cutting the meat in pieces for sale as if they were cutting firewood.  It sits out in room temperature air all day all neatly organized by animal part.  I won't go into further detail.  There is a cheese/kefir/smetana (like sour cream) section, a cookie & candy section, a Chinese section, a fish section, and an outdoor fruit & vegetable market along with a flower market, tool section, clothing section and any other kind of Chinese goods that you ever wanted.  There are babushkas walking around selling bags, knives, and some begging for money.  My husband's favorite part is the fresh honey section where to his delight they sell honeycomb.  Basically anything you want you can find at the central market. 

If you are wondering why I referred to our garage as a "bomb shelter", that is because it looks just like that.  It is underneath a school playground.  It is very dark, dirty and drab.  There is sweet pensioner that acts as the "security" for the place.  She keeps tabs on everyone and knows who everyone is.  It takes about 30 minutes for my husband to park the car at night.  Car theft around here is rampant.  We are grateful to have a car now, though I don't think I will be driving in this city anytime soon.  Think something like New York City without traffic rules.

Some pictures from trip to Yuzhno-Sakhalin, Russia

C3 after a few days of treatment

We are so grateful for the many prayers that were lifted up for C3 during the first few weeks of our time in Russia with his allergic reaction scare.  We felt the prayers and the peace of God in it all.  Thank you.

Before

In the waiting room

Kids with Mr. Clint & Mr. Nathan, who helped us tremendously while in Yuzhno-Sakhalin

Just for fun, can you guess what this is?

C8 hugging giraffe - just like his favorite "Gigi"

C4 enjoying himself at a local school park

a painting of Russian matryushka dolls at park

Kids with Miss Elena, our Korean Russian driver and helper while in Yuzhno

Getting Adjusted

It has been a while since my last post.  As we are adjusting to life here, the days rush forward.  While the US is having a heat wave, we are experiencing what the locals describe as a very unusual June.  There have been 2 days in June that I might describe as hot.  The high was probably in the high 70s.  The other days have been wet and rainy or cool,  but mostly very pleasant.  When I say "cool", think mild Southern Alabama winter day.  Last week it rained every day. I was beginning to think we weren't going to see the sun again, but it made an appearance today.  Along with the sun came the children playing in the playground.  For people who are accustomed to harsh winters, you might think that a little rain or damp weather wouldn't prevent them from playing outside.  Quite the opposite, the children all but disappeared last week while the rain and cool weather came through.  Yesterday we were wearing coats and hats.  Today the kids are back in shorts, t-shirts, and light jackets.  It really is quite a contrast from muggy, hot Alabama summers.   I fully realize we will pay a price for such pleasant weather when winter weather arrives in the Fall.

Since my last post, we have been slowly making friends.  Unfortunately, C8 had found a good friend in a little boy named Roma.  Then one day he & his Mom did not come out to play.  That was a week ago, but we think that he might have gone on vacation to their Dacha for the month of June.  Russians are very fond of their "dachas" or summer houses.  This is where they grow their vegetables and escape from city life when the harshness of winter has past.  The kids spent yesterday with an American missionary family with 4 small children.  They had a blast!  Their Mom & I enjoyed a long English conversation.  We even share the same anniversary day & year!  Today at the park I met a Russian lady named Victoria who has 4 children.  This is very rare here in Russia.  Not only does she have 4 children, but she was trained as an English teacher in their university system.  Her English is out of practice but very good.  She lives in our courtyard, although for some reason it was the first time I have seen her.   I met another woman named Marina today with a precious 10 month old boy.  Her Russian is very understandable, and she told me about a Russian friend of hers who lived in Alabama several years ago.  So she knew exactly where Alabama was! 

Russians are culturally wary of foreigners.  I suspect this might particularly be true in parts of Russia where there are few foreigners.  The good thing about being a European American is that we blend in with the people around us walking down the street.   I say this because not everyone is friendly once they know you are not a native Russian speaker (which doesn't take long in our case!). 

If you think of us, pray that the kids & I will both be able to make significant friendships here in our neighborhood.

Daily life in America is pretty easy.  You walk out your door, get in your car, and off you go.  Unless you live way out, you can find everything you need within a short drive, your choice of fast food restaurants, drugstores, etc.  Life in Russia just isn't so easy.   Yesterday I was talking with a Russian lady that I hope to develop a friendship with.   She has 2 young children, ages 2 & 4.   I told her that right now it is just difficult adjusting with 4 young children, finding groceries, getting around, etc.  But that God is good.  I told maybe with fewer children it is a little easier.  Her reply was, "No. It still isn't easy." And we are blessed that we can buy the groceries we need and have a nice apartment.  Many people only make around $500 a month salary.  Groceries cost as much as in America.  Clothes & toys cost more.  Of course, I haven't tapped into the local markets and don't have my own dacha to grow my own vegetables.  I realize that most Russians probably live a bit differently.

A few observations:  Cars are everywhere.  They are becoming more and more of the norm here for a middle class family.  You will still find as many or more people walking the streets with packages in hand or riding in an overcrowded bus or trolley bus to get to their destination.  Crossing the street is an exercise in faith by itself.  Although the country prides itself on its love of children and preference towards them, they don't pay much attention to little ones crossing the street.   The most friendly people we have met here were actually some Chinese businessmen who helped me cross the street one day when the crosslights were broken.   A  babushka (grandmother) here will scold the Mom or child who is doing wrong, but if the child is crying, that same babushka will pull out a piece of candy and give it to the child.  It doesn't matter the reason for crying.  So far, my youngest 2 have both received candy as a "reward" to their ill behavior.  I told them not to count on it from me.  

The kids are adjusting better than I expected to apartment & city life.  They are for the most part content playing in the apartment and enjoy playing in the "park" or courtyard playground each day.  It is quite a change from living in a neighborhood with few to no children to having a daily group of playmates to meet in their neighborhood play area.  Last night there must have been 20+ kids outside playing chase and many running around with swords and toy guns.    They all know we are the English speaking family.  Some of them will ask if the kids are speaking English.   Many of them know how to say "hello", but usually not much more.  I am very thankful to be able to speak and read Russian, even though I have much to learn.  I hope that before we leave Russia, the children will be translating for me rather than the other way around.

Walmart is in Russia!

Well, not exactly.  It is almost as good.  I was shocked yesterday when we walked inside this non-descript building looking for a blender to find out that not only does a Western-style mall exist here, but also a store that I will call "Wal-mart".  It has everything in one place with the exception of the furniture and electronics departments probably at a typical Wal-mart.  This is quite unusual in Russia to find a store where you can do one-stop shopping.   It was dubbed as a "liquidation" store, but inside it looked similar to a Wal-mart.  I even found zip-loc baggies and something akin to Windex.  Both of which I was looking for. It is the little things that give encouragement living overseas. 

Update

That was yesterday.  Doc released the little man today and told us we could go home.  It has been a long week.  He has been a real trooper.  He is on at least 5 meds, and still looks pretty bad.   He is pestering his brothers today, which tells us he is feeling much better.  Up until this point, he has only moaned and wanted to be held night and day.  We didn't get to see much of the city except for this hotel and the International clinic.  Both of which are unrepresentative of normal life here in Yuzhno.  I'll try to remember to post a picture of the view from our window tomorrow.  Walking down the street, you see many Asians and always a handful of Brits or other Ex-pats.  Scott described this place as a oil and gas boom town.  It is kind of like a village that has had all this oil and gas money pumped in, so there are a lot of Western goods available (for a price), which are not available where we live.   The lady that has been our driver since we arrived is 2nd generation here from South Korea.  But she speaks only Russian & English.  She looks and dressed Korean, but is culturally Russian.  The city has an interesting mix like that.

Taking care of Tommy

C3's rash became more severe since seeing the Russian doctor.  That evening the Russian equivalent of 911 came to our house as he was getting worse even after the steroid shot.  I will not comment on the level of care that was received as I do not wish to be too critical of a system we are only learning.  However, we were advised to fly him East to Sakhalin Island, Russia, the next day by a Westerner.   The whole gang got on the plane not knowing what to expect.  Thank you for your prayers.  Many prayers have been lifted up on our behalf, and we are truly grateful.  God is gracious all the time.  We were welcomed to Yuzhno-Sakhalin by the son of Scott's boss who is living here.  He, along with another Alabamian ex-pat, has kindly taken our children to play somewhere twice now since we arrived.  Everything has been sovereignly ordained between the flight, the hotel, a driver, someone to help with the children, the doctor, and countless other details.  I have never had a doctor spend as much time with me before in my life as this one has.  He is a young South African doctor working in an international clinic here.   Unfortunately, there are not enough internationals in Khabarovsk to warrant such a clinic.  C3 has been a real trooper.  He looks horrible.  This morning we thought we might have to fly him to Seoul in the morning to have some more tests done.  But this afternoon we were encouraged that the blood work came back negative and that the heart murmor detected yesterday was not apparent today.  We still don't know the cause of his reaction and haven't seen much improvement but are hopeful and headed in a positive direction.  The other children have dubbed themselves "the traveling Taylors'".  Perhaps I should have put that for the name of our website.  Again, many thanks for our friends back home who are praying for us.  What a peace to know that though we are not in control, the Creator of the Universe is; and He loves us.

In perspective

This has absolutely  nothing to do with life in Russia, but everything to do with Jesus.  This precious lady is a member of Briarwood PCA in Birmingham, and has been fighting a hard battle with cancer for several years.  Watch this video.  You will be blessed, and your trials of today will diminish and be put in their proper place.  I know mine did.  I was feeling defeated until I watched this.  After you watch it, pray for this sweet family- the Black family.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U18FhH6BfzU


Click here for video.

First visit to the Russian pediatrician

A strange thing happens whenever Daddy goes out of town.  One of the children gets sick or hurt or both sometimes.  It never fails.  He left for Moscow yesterday morning.  The day before we had all gone out for pizza after church, and C3 began to develop a rash on his face.  The next morning, after Hubby had already left, the rash had spread from his face to his neck and buttocks and chest.  I began suspecting food allergies and then possibly a Candida infection due to the color and because of the increased amounts of juice he was consuming here.  Russians love juice!  This morning after numerous phone calls from various people and to various people, a Russian lady I had never met appeared at my doorstep with a car to pick us up and take us to the clinic.  Some interesting differences... First, when you go to a Russian doctor, you have to pay in full BEFORE you see the doctor.   Second, you have to put on these blue plastic covers that look like a shower cap on your feet before entering the building.  Third, only the patient and the Mom can enter the room to see the doctor.  Siblings and husbands must stay in the waiting area.  Oh, and lastly, in order to receive shots, you must first go to the nearest pharmacy ("Apteka") and buy the shots, and bring them back to the nurse to have them administered.  Well, actually they asked me if I wanted to administer them.  I looked at her like she was crazy.  I was not about to give my 3 year old a shot when I had never done it before and in a foreign country.  After all that, it appears that he has had a severe allergic reaction to some kind of food.  She advised taking him off all dairy products for several weeks and then reintroducing them.  This is not an easy task as the grocery store consists of probably 1/3 dairy products here between all kinds of cheeses, milks, kefirs, yogurts, and creams, many you have never even heard of before.   So I welcome from my readers all dairy-free, kid-friendly recipes that you might have to share.  And please pray that my little Curious George gets well soon.  He looks a sight to see between his facial rash and the various scratches and bumps he has acquired from life in Russia.  I would post a picture, but his Mimi & Grandma might bring him home after they see it.  He seems to be very accident-prone and very curious, an interesting combination.